These Are The Days

"Sometimes it feels like we won't make it through

But the hard times pass like the good ones do

...

We're making moments, we won't forget"

My current state: EXHAUSTED! I've now gone through food poisoning three times here in the 'bajian.  Well I assume it's food poisoning, it feels like I've swallowed glass shards. Yeah, it's awesome.  I figure it's my body's way of jump starting some weight loss. HAHA! I'd prefer it the normal way, if only my body would ask me my opinion on the matter.  This past experience knocked me out for 3 days …well since I still feel like a crushed window is in my stomach I can say it's taking me down for 4 days. I was all energetic this morning, put on my make-up and business attire and on the way to the post office to get my latest care package it felt like a couple knifes had just found their way into my gut.  I may have stopped suddenly and doubled over.. Lucky for me, I already look ridiculous with a backpack so no one really finds my actions to be odd or out of place.  My care package was from my dad and when I carefully sorted through (RIPPED IT APART) it inspecting each of the contents (SOAKING IN THE SMELL AND SIGHT OF AMERICA) I had to lay down and take a little breather.  Yeah.. opening care packages can be hazardous to my health, fabulous.  I am currently at work where the internet has decided to NOT work.  Oh I take that back, it works on one computer.  Let me remind you that all the computers in my organization are running a Russian windows system so just imagine that you are blind-folded and told to operate a computer then you will get the experience.  None-the-less I will be reviewing the budget, filling out some more forms, and trying not to cry from the pain of making the wrong food decisions.  Though I have to say that this round isn't nearly as horrid as my first run-in with food poisoning.  I am not have hallucinations or violently shaking, apart from that it's all the same, 2 days of fever, 2-3 days of sharp stomach pains…and the rest I will not describe.  You may ask "Donna why have you decided to share this part of your life?"  and to that I say "You need to know my WHOLE life here."  When I thought of the Peace Corps I knew it would be a challenge but some days it's just mind-blowing.  Every part of your life is being challenged and by every part I mean EVERY part!  But to me that is the beauty, there is never a boring day, ever..  

OH OH OH! This past Friday I finally took a true Donna Day!  I did nothing productive other than read, watch movies, and chat with people from home.  I had to slap my hand a couple times when I drifted into constructive thought and planning mode.  I found that this day was a necessity. It's difficult to constantly stress about the next step, the next project, or even the current projects.  All day long my mind is running with thoughts like "How can I be a better volunteer?" "What is my next project?" "How am I ever going to improve my Azerbaijani?" "How can I become better integrated in the community?" "What is my research going to focus on?" "How can I manage my money better?"…and so on so forth. There are about 50 different issues I worry about, that's why when I was suffering through my 2nd round of food poisoning I thought it may have been an ulcer.  Whenever I'd start stressing about work the pain in my stomach would intensify, but alas the pain stopped after a couple of days, thus leading me to the conclusion that is was food poisoning.  

The next round of volunteers will be coming to Azerbaijan and I am EXTREMELY happy for them but at the same time it's SCARY!  I will have been in this country for a YEAR!  Where has the time gone?!  I need to hurry up with this project and start the next one…and write my article…and start my research…and have fluent Azerbaijani…and now you see why I'm freaking out?!

Well it's time to head home.. I hope to have 9-10 new blog posts coming in the next couple of days. Inshallah!  I love and miss you guys!

P.S.  I don't know when the goofy smile on my face will ever go away.  After all the realization that I've been here for almost a year, I'm still blissfully happy and wouldn't trade any of this for the world.  It's hard to describe how perfect living here feels, but I'm glad you guys are all along for the ride with me.  If you find yourself wondering about my sanity, that's good, someone needs to worry about it, because to me ignorance is DEFINITELY bliss. ;)